Even worse than a friendzone
I’m getting sick of the term friendzone.
Me too. And, more than that, I’m sick of the people using it.
Women are told almost constantly—by the media, the government, and the overall attitude of society—that our bodies don’t fucking belong to us. The mythical friendzone is just another way for misogynists to enforce that idea while getting to play the victim.
It sucks when someone you have feelings for doesn’t share those feelings; it happens to women all the time, too. We hear “I just want to be friends” and “you’re like one of the guys” and “you’re like a sister to me” just as often. But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected—we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection.
But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from.
And, frankly, fuck those people. Showing interest in me, being friendly with me, getting close to me, or eating a meal with me (even if they paid for it) doesn’t obligate me to open my heart or my legs. And anyone who doesn’t appreciate my friendship sure as hell doesn’t deserve my love or my pussy.
^Reblogging for the commentary.
Seriously guys, using the term “friend zone” as a negative is really insulting. As delacroix pointed out, it’s nearly always applied when a girl rejects a guy. It’s like saying that a woman’s friendship is worth nothing, like she is worthless because she’s not having sex with them. Stop vilifying the women who turn you down, and move on.^^^
All of this is true. It goes both ways, and yet women always seem to get the short end of the stick here. My body is my own. I’m a tomboy. I’m a nice girl and I bet you I’d be a pretty damn good wife to somebody really special. If you’re not that somebody special, don’t get all upset just because I’m not interested in having sex with you and I’d rather just be your friend. It doesn’t mean you should stop valuing our relationship whatsoever.
(The above is me actually trying to convince myself that I’m dateable. Like that’ll happen.)
Girls can get friendzoned too, ya know! It’s not just a gender exclusive thing. Fuck, I’ve been friendzoned so many bloody times. I’ve been thought of as a friend, a confidant, a consigliere, and anything under the sun that is close but not romantic. Perhaps it’s because they think I’m crazy. The closest explanation I got for being friend zoned is that I was too much me. Basically he explained to my friend “I know she likes me but I mean…it’s Mel.” which is something i have no idea how to respond to till this day.
“But you’ll never hear a woman complain that guys just don’t appreciate a Nice Girl because we’re taught it’s our own fucking fault when we’re rejected”
Fucking seriously? I hear that all the time. ALL THE TIME. 75% of Tumblr is girls saying just that, that guys don’t appreciate special flowers like themselves. I get what girls say on here about the friendzone, but you’re delusional if you think it doesn’t go both ways.
Girls get together and assure each other that a guy who isn’t interested is crazy in some way, because men are brainless and only want sex. If a guy says no to you, there must be something wrong with him, not you or the situation. Yes, there are some assholes who pressure girls to sleep with them after being told nyet. There are girls who do the same to guys. Men are bigger and stronger generally, so it can be more threatening for girls. But to say that men are predatory sex demons and women are self-loathing innocents is fucking ridiculous.
I’m responding to this a second time to say that I agree with a lot of this comment above me. I did want to make my own explanation clearer as in the fact that I really wasn’t complaining but more just pointing out. I’m fine with it, I just get confused by the explanations. Besides, complaining is just a waste of time and a waste of energy.
Also gender stereotypes suck
(Source: lolsnaps.com)
